To health, happiness, and prosperity
January 1, 2011 | It's a new year, and a chilly one! It is a brisk 36°F this morning.
I have just one New Year's Resolution this year: I resolve to make no New Year's Resolutions for myself. Life is good, so why tamper with a good thing?
On the other hand, I'd like to suggest a few for other people…
- John McCain — to regain his sanity
- Mitch McConnell — to get over himself and start helping the country succeed, not fail
- John Kyl — see above
- John Boehner — to not cry when Nancy hands him the gavel
- Nancy Pelosi — you go, girl!
- Sarah Palin — to learn how to shoot a caribou that is just standing there in fewer than six shots
- Rush Limbaugh — to choke on one of his cigars (I can't be the only one who has noticed the similarity between Rush and Rudy Park's Sadie)
- Keith Olbermann — to finish with the Thurber already
- Chris Hayes — to switch to decaf
- Barack Obama — to keep a stiff spine and give 'em hell
- Fox News — to reveal its true name, Republican Ministry of Misinformation and Propaganda
- MSNBC — to get a new slogan; is "Lean Forward" the best you can do?
- Sharron Angle and Christine O'Donnell — you are witches
Have a wonderful new year!
Last updated on Apr 13, 2018