John Nance Garner
John Nance Garner IV, nicknamed "Cactus Jack," 32nd Vice-President of the US

Stop the insanity!

| There's an awful lot of attention being given to possible candidates for a job famously described by John Nance Garner (Vice President for Franklin Roosevelt) as "not worth a bucket of warm piss." (I know, you thought it was "bucket of warm spit" — and so did I — but according to Wikipedia Garner used a more pungent noun.)

How I long for the good old days when "news" was a report of something that already happened! Nowadays noone — and especially the "cable news" networks — is content to wait. Instead they want to tell us what everyone — and I do mean everyone — thinks might, possibly, will happen. Every "analyst" has been trotted out to bloviate about who McCain might, possibly, probably, should pick, and who Obama could, perhaps, should, should not pick.

It's quite obvious that those who know aren't talking, and those talking don't know.

Tempest in a teapot (Image: Pixel remix: the Ann-alog images archive)

How humiliating to be the focus of so much attention, knowing that if you are chosen you will never be so important to the news media as you were the moment before being chosen. Unless you're someone who has figured out how to rule the country from the fourth branch of government, like Dick Cheney, the vice president spends the next four years as the understudy, dutifully rehearsing the lines of the star, ready to go on stage, if only for a weekday matinee.

In the words of the immortal Rhett Butler, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." All this manufactured drama is so silly. Infantile. Assinine.

In the end, McCain and Obama will pick whomever they pick. I mean, who could have predicted Dan Quayle?

On second thought, please don't let it be Billary!

Pat Oliphant
Pat Oliphant

Last updated on Apr 13, 2018



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