They're on to me!

It's so hard keeping secrets.

A plain white envelope arrived in yesterday's mail, addressed in vaguely-familiar handwriting. Who knew that opening that envelope would change everything?

It seems that friends Jim and Angela had too much time on their hands after being dropped off at John Wayne airport (SNA) last Thursday. It gave "eagle-eyed Angela" time to notice a discarded boarding pass she shouldn't have seen.

discarded boarding pass
Boarding pass for Southwest flight 1784, Sacramento to Orange County, July 20, 2006

Think about it: Jim and Angela had just been dropped off at the airport by Paul Williamson, having just spent three days with him in Laguna Beach, yet here was incontrovertible evidence that Paul Williamson had just arrived on a flight from Sacramento.

And just like that my double identity was blown! Inasmuch as the Bushies surely track my every move — they track everybody, but I'm sure they pay special attention to me on account of the political views expressed on this website — I had taken the precaution of creating a doppelgänger to keep the domestic surveillance spies confused, lest I be spirited away in one of those extraordinary renditions of which W is so fond. I like to travel, to be sure, but I'd rather go by commercial aircraft than in one of those unmarked CIA planes criss-crossing the globe to exotic hell-holes in Egypt, Pakistan, Afghanistan, and other third-world countries.

You must admit it was quite clever of me to enroll my double in Southwest's frequent flier program, Rapid Rewards. Those decoy plane trips can quickly add up to quite a lot of money, and every free trip counts. And let's not forget the cocktail coupons that come with each free ticket. Talk about value!

Who knows what shoe will drop next. My secret will probably appear in Robert Novak's column. At least then, Valerie Plame and I will have something in common.