Charmin ultra-strong on roller
Charmin Ultra-Strong comes in a much narrower roll

Ultra-rip-off!

| There are some things a person buys without much thought, and for me, toilet paper is one of those things.

Mr Whipple

Years of watching Mr Whipple be reprimanded for squeezing the Charmin have made their mark, and I always automatically reach for Charmin.

Imagine my surprise, therefore, when I opened a pack of newly-purchased Charmin only to discover that the roll was noticeably narrower that usual, leaving a wide margin on the toilet-paper holder.

Gadzooks! What is this? I began to investigate. The package that I had opened was Charmin Ultra-Strong, and when I checked an older package from the other bathroom, I found that it was Ultra-Soft. Who knew?

Charmin Ultra-Soft vs Ultra-Strong
Oho! Charmin Ultra-Soft is much wider than Ultra-Strong

But wait, there's more!

Charmin Ultra-Soft vs Ultra-Strong
  Ultra-Soft Ultra-Strong
Sheets per roll 231 220
Width of sheet 4.5 in 3.92 in
Length of sheet 4 in 4 in
Area of sheet 18 sq inches 15.68 sq inches
Cost per roll* $1.53 $1.67
*Price from PG&E website

It's all there in the numbers: when you buy Ultra-Soft, you get more sheets, with greater area per sheet. When you do the math, each roll of Ultra-Strong has 708.4 square inches less paper than the Ultra-Soft. Multiplying 6 rolls per package times 708.4 square inches per roll gives 4250.4 square inches, or nearly 30 square feet less paper! And it costs more!

Ultra-soft label
Ultra-Soft: Use less because it is "Cushiony Soft & Absorbent"
Ultra-strong label
Ultra-strong: Use less because it has "DuraClean Texture"

What's interesting is that both types make the claim that you can use less, one because it is "soft and absorbent" and the other because of its "DuraClean Texture."  What a pile of crap!

The Charmin marketing team is hard at work. In fact, they sell four kinds of toilet paper!

Charmin toilet paper products
The Charmin family of toilet papers

Although in the illustration, each of the four kinds is called "toilet paper," a close inspection of the website reveals that the four are differentiated, respectively, as "toilet tissue," "bath tissue," bathroom tissue," and "bathroom paper." Now that's a marketing triumph!

Ask your backside which is right for you...

Last updated on Apr 13, 2018

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