twc_350

And for this I pay $131.52 per month?

| This morning's email delivery brought the monthly notice from Time-Warner that my statement is ready and can be accessed by clicking the appropriate link:

email

I land on the page for MyServices where I am told that everything in the Time-Warner empire is now just peachy keen:

myservices
youresignedin

Right. I submit my username and password which are immediately accepted, and I am taken to the MyServices homepage, where I am again reassured that now that Time-Warner has made everything so simple, I am "automatically signed in to PayExpress. Easy!"

I click on gotopayexpress. Except now I am told, "Login failed. Please contact your customer service representative (Invalid Account Number)." Follow the logic, people: I was already signed in, but the login failed. We're already in an alternate universe where things don't mean what they mean. Like down the rabbit hole.

I engage a chat representative who tells me he is checking my account and it will all be cool.

Meanwhile, I report the second problem, which is that when I look at the page that is supposed to tell me all the services I have signed up for, it is completely blank! No TV. No internet. No phone. No mobile.

currentservices
I repeat, For this I pay $131.52 per month?

After some minutes, he reports cheerily that he has fixed it all up and I can log in again in 4 hours. Four hours! Maybe he's sending a fax to someone in India who will put the database update request in his inbox while he sits at a console and issues MySQL commands!

Fine. I wait a reasonable amount of time (while I outline this article in my mind — OK, 2 minutes) and attempt to sign in again. It succeeds, and I am once again taken to the MyServices home page, where I now notice something new!

billcenter

Wonderful! My "service address" is now back in Palm Springs!

accountprofile

Nevertheless, I once again click on gotopayexpress to see what will happen. This time I am taken to my account overview (which was where I wanted to go all along). Now my service address is back in Desert Hot Springs!

I click on viewstatementdetails so I can remind myself of all the outrageous charges TWC has conjured up to inflate the bill. And the resulting screen reminds me of one of my other pet peeves about TWC:

viewstatements

Actually, it's two other pet peeves:

  1. The big blue banner at the top of the page would seem to indicate, contrary to the expectations previously set, that the statement is not actually ready. But, if you click on...
  2. viewpdfstatement

By now I've completely lost track of how many clicks it has required to actually get to the thing I want: my bill!

chargesandfees

Sure enough, there it is on page 2, the enumerated service charges, fees, and taxes that make my blood boil. I am always righteously indignant over the $11.49 DVR service (which means, I guess, the use of the $10.00 HDTV DVR Converter). $21.48 in monthly service charges. Since I've now lived here for two years, that make 24 x $10 or $240 that I have paid for that damned HDTV DVR Converter. It's a cable box, for crying out loud! One ought to be able to buy one outright for $50 at most.

Totally ridiculous.

Last updated on Apr 13, 2018

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