high handicap game After 5 weeks of play

Handicaps

They're a wonderful thing

After five weeks of play, I am astonished to find that I still hold the third highest score in the Sandbaggin' Sunday Strikers league. That's handicap score, of course, not scratch score. Nevertheless, when you bowl as badly as I do, you accept recognition whenever and however you can get it.

Note also that Team #5 has the highest handicap game of the season to date. Team #5 would be my very team. To be fair, I guess I should mention that Team #5 achieved that high handicap game on SuperBowl Sunday, while I was partying at home. The only thing I contributed to it, therefore, was my average minus ten points.

And speaking of averages, the average is a statistic that is greatly affected by outlying data points. As the old joke goes, Bill Gates walks into a bar, and, on average, everyone in the bar becomes a millionaire. Thank goodness they don't use the median when calculating these standings!

And speaking of handicaps, I'm surprised that the PC-Police haven't made a fuss about the term "handicap," insisting that it be replaced by a less negative term, perhaps a "scoring adjustment factor for strike-challenged bowlers."

And speaking of the league, The League decided that we will not bowl next Sunday because it is a holiday, namely President's Day. Never mind that the Presidents Day holiday is actually observed on Monday, not Sunday. And never mind that Presidents Day isn't even a real holiday anyway, having been conjured up to recognize all presidents, not just truly great presidents like George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, whose birthdays were previously observed in February. Our presidents have not all been equally worthy, unlike children of Lake Woebegone, who are all above average. Some of our presidents should be remembered only in the context of examples of really bad presidents.

And speaking of really bad presidents — and really bad vice-presidents — does anyone doubt that the Bush administration is just itching to pick a war with Iran? The propaganda machine is working overtime to "make the case" that Iran should be the next on the Axis of Evil to be liberated to greet our armed forces with flowers.

And speaking of the Axis of Evil, can't somebody figure out how to get rid of Cheney?