Damn, I missed it!

Bush proclamation

Mea culpa

I confess: I have neglected my duties as a citizen, for yesterday I failed to observe Education and Sharing Day. I am sorry, deeply sorry. I apologize. Profusely.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim April 9, 2006, as Education and Sharing Day, U.S.A.

On a day that Our President called on "all the people of the United States to reach out to young people and work to create a better, brighter, and more hopeful future for all," I, instead, spent the day indulging my own pursuit of frivolity and good times by paying hommage to Dame Edna, who is "back with a vengeance!"

Dame Edna
Dame Edna Everage

When I could have been reaching out and bringing hope of a better and brighter future to young people, I sought pleasure in the company of good friends, fine food and drink, and lusty laughs served up by a debauched Australian man in a dress, masquerading as "probably the most popular and gifted woman in the world today."

And such a dame!

Possibly Jewish, Dame Edna is a widow, with three grown children — her son Kenneth is a leading Australian fashion designer. She spends her time visiting world leaders, photographing orphans and shuttling between her compounds in Malibu, Mayfair, Melbourne, Montreux and Martha's Vineyard. She is the Founder and Governor of "Friends of the Prostate" and the creator of the World Prostate Olympics. Recently, she has turned her attention and that of her charitable entities to the deviated septum.

Réal, Ken, Phil, and I whooped and hollered as Edna terrorized select victims of the audience and paid attention to the "paupers" in the balcony "in direct proportion to what they paid to attend." Actually, I can't think of any other performer who does audience-participation segments of a show with such skill. And luck! What are the chances of picking a "senior" from the audience to re-enact a scene as her ex-husband after his first urologic incident (thence the abiding interest in the prostate), only to discover that the senior is, in fact, a urologist!?!?

Passenger Ken
We found that Ken didn't even need a sedative for this ride in Penelope
horse with blinkers

What a hoot! And just as skittish horses often perform better when their field of vision is restricted by blinkers, we found that Ken — "we're all gonna be killed!" — is a more tranquil passenger when the same principle is applied. And I mean that "in the kindest possible way."

Oh, yes. As a public service to others who may not have fully appreciated the significance of Education and Sharing Day, I should mention that Our President cited Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, the Lubavitcher Rebbe, as one who epitomizes the spirit of the day. (See sidebar.)