Etcetera

Et cetera

Playing catch-up

Every now and then I get behind on my Chronicles and find I have to catch up with a hodgepodge of brief mentions.

storm

They say that April showers bring May flowers. That being the case, May's going to bring a real flower shop of horrors because April began with a veritable deluge here in the desert. I woke this morning to the roar of wind and pelting of rain on the skylights. Flash flood warnings were posted and several roads without bridges were closed as the washes filled with rushing water.


poker

Statistically, rare events do happen. They don't usually happen to me. The other night after helping a friend get his computer working again, I stopped at the casino and put $5 in the video poker machine. Who guessed I'd win the progressive jackpot! And it's a good thing, too, because when I went to the dentist last week he decided that one of my gigantic old fillings is "leaking" and has to be replaced with a crown. Oh, well — easy come, easy go!


cruise

I hadn't wanted to mention this, because it is so deeply humiliating, but some — those who've been talking to "favorite niece Joni" as she styles herself — are demanding an explanation. Joni and a friend took a western US car trip at the end of February and planned a stop Chez Paul. And, as favorite nieces are wont to do, Joni told all who would listen that their trip was starting with a tight schedule so as to visit Uncle Paul in Palm Springs before he left on "a month-long Mediterranean cruise." Now they are visiting my website expecting to see pictures of the Mediterranean and expressing disappointment. So I guess I have to 'fess up — we accidentally got on the wrong ship and didn't find out until it docked in Key West, where we were surprised to find that people were speaking English instead of Greek. By then it seemed we might as well just stay, since everyone was having such a good time anyway.


clowns

I've had it with those bozos in Washington. They just can't get anything right, and all they seem to care about is getting themselves re-elected, the common good be damned. It's time for someone to shake up the system and do the people's business for a change. I've decided I'm just the person to do it and have filed to run for Congress. Unfortunately, it costs a lot of money to run for election. Does anybody know a lobbyist with deep pockets?


clock

Finally, a public service announcement. If you've been planning to spring your clock ahead tonight, don't bother. Daylight Savings Time has been cancelled this year.


April Fool!