Bowling for bozos
Fun Handicap league
5-Jul-05. In a moment of utterly irrational exhuberance, the Sunday Brunch Bunch decided to join the summer bowling league.
I don't know what possessed us. Well, actually I do. I suspect the generous flow of champagne may have been a factor. At any rate, it seemed perfect for us: the Fun Handicap league. We like fun. And it seemed unlikely that there would be any group of people more handicapped than us when it comes to bowling!
Actually, it turns out that there are many such, for much to our amazement, after five weeks of "competition" we find ourselves in third place in the league!
Only Pretty Balls and the Big Hookers are ahead of us
We love this handicap concept! At the beginning of the season we were utterly pathetic, so the handicaps calculated for us were enormous! Since teams had to give us more than 300 points before the first ball was even rolled, we have turned out to be formidable opponents.
We have improved, to be sure, but to be honest we have merely progressed from "utterly pathetic" to "simply awful."
But above all, we have fun. I can say categorically that there is no team that takes the game less seriously than we do. Gutter ball? Oh, well! Only got the 10-pin? Well, that's a hard one to get with all those other pins in the way! Split? No problem, I can get the ball between those!
I feared we would be kicked out of the league the night we played the Big Hookers. Their team member Brad is our waiter at Sunday brunch, and he takes his game very seriously. If he weren't such a fine person, I'm sure he would have spit on our plates before serving us the following Sunday — because we won!
Two weeks ago, our team captain Réal was channeling Minnesota Fats, or something, and rolled four (4!!!!) strikes in a row, driving his score waaaay up (and his handicap waaaaay down). I attribute it to the Hawthorne effect of having bought his own bowling ball and bowling shoes.
Last week, it was my turn to excel. I had terrific scores, well into triple digits. As a result, I last night found my name heralded in three categories of individual achievements (he said, immodestly).
If there is any list that Brad did not want to see his name on with mine, it would have to be "most improved" — he's going to spit in my plate for sure!
Pictures will follow on some week I can remember to take my camera.