Statuary molestation

Alexander Wood statue
Toronto statue of Alexander Wood (Reuters. Click picture to enlarge)

Knickers in a twist, eh?

Just when you thought the end of the Michael Jackson trial would bring relief from obsession with celebrities and sex, a new front has opened in the ongoing search for scandal.

The good folks in Toronto erected a statue to commemorate Alexander Wood, an early 19th century magistrate in the city. Wood is apprently something of an icon to Toronto's gay community, and the statue is in Toronto's gay neighborhood.

Alas, some have taken offense — and we can guess who they are! — to both commemorating the man and to the informative plaque attached to the statue.

You see, a case came before Magistrate Wood involving a woman who alleged rape and claimed that she had inflicted scratches on the genitals of the perpetrator. The suspects were lined up and ordered to drop their drawers so the magistrate could do a first-hand search for evidence.

plaque detail

When word got out, the citizenry apparently considered this an unreasonable search and seizure, and branded Wood a "molly" (a derrogatory term for homosexual). Wood agreed to leave town in disgrace to avoid prosecution for abusing his position (on his knees, if the artist has it right).

The humorless ones taking offense are particularly incensed by the plaque on the base of the statue, which depicts the judicial inquiry in graphic detail. Wrote Rachel Marsden, columnist for the conservative National Post, "Let's get something straight: Alexander Wood wasn't a hero, he was a pervert," asserting that the plaque was "something that could pass for a scene out of the Michael Jackson trial." (Oh, oh. I sense a tone of disapproval in that reference.)

A resident of the neighborhood has noted that the prominent buttocks on the illustration have become a talisman, reporting, "People have been rubbing it for luck."

Oh dear. It looks like some of America's political correctness has seeped over the northern border. I say that those making a fuss are just groping for an issue.