Krups ist kaput

Krups AromaControl

Mr Coffee says, "Told you so!"

The Krups AromaControl coffee maker, installed Chez Paul amid great controversy just two years ago has failed. Mr Coffee can barely suppress his satisfaction at this turn of events.

Krups is warm

According to Paul, he first noticed something was wrong when he reached behind Krups to nudge him forward to facilitate filling the water reservoir, preparatory to making morning coffee. "Hello, what's this?" Paul remarked. "Krups is all warm." Thinking he had simply been unobservant heretofore, Paul proceeded to pour the water while the coffee beans were grinding. Much to his dismay, Krups began pumping hot water up to steep the coffee grounds which, of course, were still agrinding. Hot water flowed all over the kitchen counter.

Krups switch

Noting that the switch was still in the Off position, Paul was understandably flummoxed. Watching helplessly as hot water continued to spurt onto the counter with each pulse of Krup's pump, Paul finally realized there was nothing for it but to cut Krups off at the outlet and put him in the sink. "Look what a mess you've made," Paul complained, "and I haven't even had my coffee yet!"

Flinging open the cupboard door where Mr Coffee remains in exile, Paul admonished him threateningly: Mr Coffee in exile "Don't even think about saying anything. Not one word!" At this, Moulinex coffee grinder, safely out of sight, snickered loudly.

A full investigation has revealed that Krups' switch — formerly with three functional settings: On, Off, and Auto — now has no functional settings. In short, Krups has a short, and remains On whenever plugged in.

Mr Coffee has been campaigning for reinstatement and has accused Paul of ignoring intelligence regarding Krups' spotty service record. Krups continues to maintain that he left the factory with an honorable quality assurance pass. Officials at Krups headquarters insist that there is nothing they can do inasmuch as the warranty period ended over a year ago.

Paul remains despondent. "I spent all that money on Krups and for what? It was the advanced features that made Krups worth the cost, and without those features, I might as well be using a Mr Coffee!"

Meanwhile, Moulinex coffee grinder bides her time with a knowing smile on her face. Asked to explain herself, Moulinex said only, "I have eyes, and I have ears. Capresso isn't long for this world. She thinks she's so hoity-toity with her grinding burr instead of blades and all, but she's falling apart. It's only a matter of time. Mark my words."